Saturday, September 10, 2011

Victim or Survivor? Both.

Too often have people said that one is either a victim or a survivor of their situations.  What they really want to point out is that the person's point of view is just as important as what happens to them.  Or in other words, they make what they want to out of the situation.  While I may agree wholeheartedly with this assumption, I cannot completely agree that a person must be one or the other.  Many victims of situations survive.  But do they have to choose only one?  In my opinion, not necessarily.     

Victims are those that are the target of any attack whether that be on purpose or not and whether the attack is physical, emotional, etc. it matters not.  No one really chooses to be a victim although they may feel they do and the attackers or abusers may often convince them that they do.  Some people due to their mental and emotional state may put themselves in situations that makes them more vulnerable to attacks.  But that doesn't mean that they try to play hero and get hurt.    It just means that they were targeted for one reason or another.  And it is of my opinion that not all victims are targeted on purpose or for a reason.  I do think that many people do mean well, they just never take the time to think through what they are doing, saying, etc.  And many things are accidents, things that I cannot nor will I attribute to anyone (not even God in most cases).  I have a few friends (girls in these cases) that were targets of molestation and even rape.  They were victims.  They were taken advantage of.  They for whatever reason (not for sin, retribution from God, punishment, etc.) targeted for the trials they have had to go through.  I don't pretend to understand all of the pain, but I can sympathize.  I feel for them.  I have been a victim in my own ways.  I have been sorely mistreated by the person I loved the most.  I didn't seek it out nor want it.  And just because my point of view is changed, I was still a victim.  It still happened.

Survivors are those that keep on living.  And this living isn't the kind of normal living that we think about.  It really is a living hell.  That's the best way to describe it really.  Just imagine, if you don't already go through it or haven't tried thinking about it, getting up every morning to have to live your life when in reality you don't want to live it.  I'm not talking about suicide although that can be a terrible option that some choose.  But I mean that the desire to be someone else is really strong.  To be anyone else.  Each second is a challenge.  And then to go to bed at night fearing for the following day.  Trying to forget it all and they go numb to everything.  They want to lash out or shrink away into a corner, huddled in the fetal position while the world keeps on spinning.  Welcome to the heartless and cruel world.  These are the survivors.  Most don't take time to understand or help.  Most, to their credit actually, don't even know how.  We often hear about "survivors" in some book or some movie or something and they had a kind of "wow! flash-bang!" recovery or comeback that they use to become famous, popular, or maybe even just to help others.  Well, they may be a survivor, but true survivors do what the word implies, survive.  Surviving isn't really living.  It's just getting by.

So to all those who are both victims and survivors.  I hear you.  I'm there.  And I'm both.

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