Beware the "ism"

Attention all: beware of feminism and chauvinism.  (Warning: just because I place one before the other does not mean that it is the most important.)


Feminism took a part in destroying my marriage.  And so I can't help but feel some animosity towards it.  I have debated as to whether post something regarding feminism and chauvinism on my blog, and that is because of not only my intense feelings on the subject matter, but the intense feelings of others.  I know that on the flip side there are women who have suffered from chauvinism.  And I feel for them.  No one should be treated as though one sex is greater than the other, but we have come to a time in the church were unfortunately there exists some of both.  I hope that my thoughts can be heard because too often men are overlooked in situations of abuse and their struggles (perhaps) with feminism that is directed at them or directly includes them.  I know I have been.


Men are often warned about this chauvinistic attitude.  Too often to people quote D&C 121.  I'm not going to quote it here.  But please ladies, men (especially myself) have been beaten over the heads far to often by the women with this.  Trust me when I saw that the priesthood brethren talk to us more than enough on the matter in conference talks and in priesthood meetings on Sundays.  And too often to I also hear the irrational thought behind why men have the priesthood.  I have heard it said on multiple occasions that it is because the men couldn't have children (which was the higher calling after all).  Please, spare me.  Read the Family Proclamation and then tell me what you really think.  (Can you sense the slight sense of sarcasm here?)  Men are the ones looked over (ignored even) by bishops when they claim their wives are abusing them because if the woman were in the same position the bishop is required to report the matter.  He's not required to do anything if it is the man in the situation.  And men are required to have at least one assistant, for example, in a  primary class while a woman can teach alone (even if the group were little boys).  Why is this?  Hmm . . .


Women on the other hand are often prodded with the whole "well, Eve was the first to partake of the fruit and disobey . . ." argument.  At least in my experience they have been.  Just because of that, men sometimes think that they must always be right.  It is true that men and women are distinctly different in how they feel and think (ie. men are more rational/logical while women are more thoughtful/emotional).  Women may often feel left out for many reasons, maybe it is because of the priesthood, maybe they feel like God has chosen sides (which isn't the case at all).  Maybe women feel left out when the men are called to missions as more of a requirement and they are not.  Regardless, each person, whether they be man or woman should feel empowered by their God-granted gender.


My experiences with feminism have been quite bad.  While I won't go into it, lets just say that in my short and brief marriage I had to learn that the woman was always right. I had to do what she wanted and everything was always about her.  She had to always come first (even though I put her first because I loved her) and anything to the contrary was outrageous.  I was belittled and emotionally abused.  So it is hard for me to not speak out on the matter of feminism.


Feminism on the other hand is growing from all the hardships that women have had to put up with in the past.  Everything from working conditions to voting rights, women have had to fight for their rights while the men took it for granted.  And people will often say that history was written by men, hence "his-story".  I don't believe all of that because behind each good man you can usually find a good woman (and visa-versa).  Look at the prophets' wives for example.  Great women to uphold and sustain great men.  Ladies, recognize this, don't take it so hard.  We men need you just as you need us.  Just because there used to be more men in the army or more men in the workforce doesn't mean you have to prove yourselves.  In my opinion, by being who you are, you've proved it many times over.


So let me leave with a warning.  Men and women, treat each other with the respect they deserve.  Many say "respect is earned."  But by being a human being, a child of God, does that not grant us at least some respect from the start?  Men, recognize women for their beauty and love.  Women, recognize men for their strength and drive.  Lets not try taking what is God-granted in a way unbecoming of a Christian in order to use it against them.