By far one of the hardest things for me to get over is my extreme lack of motivation. Motivation is the real driving factor that allows us to be successful or for that matter, even get up in the morning. I find that I can get up in the morning, but that oftentimes, that's all I can do. Everything that I once had interest in is gone. And it can be the strangest sensation. I love to read for example, and even with the book that I want to read, I just can't bring myself to read it. It could be a book that I've been looking forward to read for sometime and yet I just can't bring myself to read it. And this is a book that basically stares me in the face everyday as it sits on a shelf in my room. There are those that suffer to the point that they can't even get up in the mornings. I feel for those that are like me and worse than me because I understand. There are those that drown themselves in never-ending bottles or find themselves completely immersed in video games so that they can live a life seemingly far better than their own. I don't agree with it and I may not even condone it, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand. I do understand, and I understand completely.
It is at this time that I try my hardest to really find joy in the littlest of things. I have a really hard time planning for the future since I don't know what my future might even hold. I can't see a week ahead, let alone a day ahead. And I really do often live from hour to hour and minute to minute.
Recently one of these little things I found was that of growing a garden and cultivating my sunflowers. Something about physical work and actually being able to see the fruits of my labor was inspiring. And it was one of the only inspiring things that had happened to me for some time. Every once in a while I will get a sense of peace and inspiration that what I am doing is good. This happened like an epiphany while laboring outside. And I can even find symbolism in the sunflower. They are such a beautiful and happy flower. They grow tall and they follow the sun during the day by rotating their flowers and leaves to absorb all of the light and warmth that they can. They can't move more than that since they are deeply rooted in their stationary position, but they can at least face in the direction of the sun. They face in the direction of their salvation, life-giving force, and hope. And the mere fact that I can cultivate these and other beautiful plants, even those to be eaten from a garden, gave me a sliver of motivation. I finally found something I enjoyed again.
Take pride in the small things when they seem insignificant. Do anything healthy to find hope or motivation when there seems like there is none or there is none. To start from zero is difficult especially when one thought one had infinity. But to someone who finds joy in something small finds joy which is significant and beautiful to behold. This is one method of motivation to be pondered.
No comments:
Post a Comment